Sorry I Can't Love You Forever
by Trust-Me-I'm-a-Fangirl-96422
Summary: It should have been an effortless task. A butler who could not do as much as this was not worth his salt. This job should have been the easiest I'd ever done... But it was hard. I had been ordered to kill many people before. None of them had been important to me. This time, it was different. Because I knew Grell Sutcliff. SebaGrell, rated T for character death. One-shot.


***Was going to upload to GxS Drabbles, but Fanfiction won't let me, so I'll just post it separately for now* **

**Probably put the most effort into this one :3 It took me a month O_O But it was worth it.**

**Ah...**

**Character death warning. Possibly OOC Sebastian. General feels.**

**This is in Sebastian's POV :D**

It was an effortless task. It shouldn't have been so difficult for me. A butler who could not do as much as this was not worth his salt. This job should have been the easiest I'd ever done.

…

But it was hard. It was heart-wrenchingly hard. My young master had ordered me to kill before. Plenty of times had he given the command to take someone's life. Even before meeting him, I had slain so many people.

None of them had been important to me.

This time…

It was different.

Because I knew Grell Sutcliff. He mattered to me. I loved that man more than he could have ever imagined. And believe me, he imagined quite a lot of things.

And bocchan had given me the order to kill him. He had been so casual about it… It makes me seethe just thinking about it.

"Sebastian," Ciel had said idly one day during tea.

"What is it, my lord?" I had replied. I was quite used to him requiring jobs of me.

"Grell Sutcliff," I could clearly see the smirk he was hiding behind his teacup. "Get rid of him." My heart nearly stopped.

"Rid of him, sir?"

"Yes. Kill him," Ciel looked toward me. He must have read my expression, because his sneer grew. "Is that a problem?"

I was forced to smile and bow.

"Not at all. It shall be done," but on the inside, I was dying. My heart was slowly shriveling in on itself as I thought of my dearest. There was no way I could do it. But the mere thought of betraying my master made the covenant on the back of my left hand burn.

So, here I am. Standing over Grell Sutcliff as he slumbers. He is anything but a heavy sleeper, so I have to be quiet and quick. But I can't prevent my hand from softly stroking his long, red tresses of hair. Can't stop my lips from pressing gently against his cheek. Can't repress the tears that trickle from my eyes, sprinkling his pallid collarbone.

"Sebas-chan…" the grim reaper is waking up. I mentally curse myself. I missed my chance to end his life painlessly while he floated in dream world.

Grell squints up at me through bleary, emerald eyes. I plead to whatever deity is listening that his vision is so badly impaired that it hides my identity. The odds are not in my favor.

"Oh, Bassy, it's you," Grell smiled drowsily, sitting up and stretching his arms skyward. The sleeves of his scarlet nightgown slip down to his elbows. The sudden exposure to the night air gives him a chill.

"It's rather unpleasantly cold in here, isn't it, Sebby~?" Grell flashes a dazzling, fanged grin. He reaches out his arms toward me. "It would be awfully nice if you could cuddle with me~ Come on, Sebastian darling~ Keep me warm~!"

It's a dying wish, whether he knows it is or not. I obediently sit on the side of his bed. He latches onto me like a newborn koala, crawling into my lap and embracing me firmly. Nudges his head into the base of my throat. I can feel the goosebumps on his arms from the room's frosty temperature. Impulsively, I fold my arms around him, keeping him close. The position is a bit awkward until Grell folds his legs up under him, shifting to snuggle closer.

"You haven't said a word, Bassy…" Grell's voice sounds like a pout. All of it tortures me. His wound up tone, his affectionate touch, his naive eyes…

But it's his heartbeat that bothers me the most. I can feel it pulsating away through his nightdress, hear its double thudding sound coming from within… The thought that its beautiful melody will be petered out by my own hand appalls me.

I brush my lips against his forehead. My breaths rustle his hair lightly, like a minor breeze swirls up sand. There are so many things I want to say. I want to apologize many times over, beg for his forgiveness after all the times I rebutted his love. I want to tell him how much I love him, how many times I've longed for our relationship to strengthen, to bloom like a summer blossom.

But there's only one phrase that escapes my mouth. It sums up all of my feelings, all of my thoughts. It flows from my lips as I discreetly pull a switchblade from my tailcoat pocket. It reaches his ears before my knife reaches his heart.

"I'm sorry I can't love you forever, my beloved," are the final words that Grell Sutcliff will ever hear. He opens his mouth—maybe it's to question my odd announcement; I never find out—and blood gushed past his soft lips, soaking my shirt front. There's a fleeting moment when his eyes light up with dread, pain, betrayal… And then the glow fades and there's nothing.

Grell Sutcliff is dead. And so is my heart.

**Mm.**

**I gave up once I got to the last paragraph.**

**Oops.**

**If you would be a dear and review, that'd be wonderful :3**


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